Setting parenting objectives with your spouse has several advantages, from making parenting less stressful and more enjoyable to creating a stable home environment that is vital for your children’s healthy growth.
This article examines the greatest techniques you can use to assist your partner in helping you develop wise and practical parenting goals:
1. Put It in Writing
I disagree with the statement that “a goal isn’t really a goal until it’s written down.” Instead, I contend that “putting your goals down on paper—or an electronic notepad—has enormous power.”
The next best thing to agreeing to set your own family goals with your partner is to put all of your valid points in writing. Unwritten objectives are likely to be forgotten or given less weight. On the other hand, written goals serve as an ongoing reminder of your objectives.
2. Use the present tense when speaking.
Writing out your objectives can help you achieve them more effectively, just like if you were already doing so. Though it can seem absurd at first, your behaviours and feelings will follow as soon as you can train your brain to recognise the difference. Furthermore, rather than focusing on what you both want to quit doing, the most successful parenting goal lists highlight the things that you will both do differently. Instead of saying, “I want to stop raising my voice on my kids,” I say, “I speak calmly to my kids; I respond, not react.”
3. List All of the Steps
Identifying the tiny steps—all the steps—you must take to turn your parenting goal into a reality in the here and now is another crucial stage in creating parenting goals that succeed. By breaking down your goals into manageable chunks, you can stay motivated to reach them since they are less daunting and will cause your body to release endorphins, or happy hormones, as you finish each little task.
4. Attach A Timeline to It
Once you and your spouse have decided on a list of parenting objectives for your family, you need make sure that each of those lovely goals has a deadline attached to it. For example, you should specify a date by which you would want to finish each goal or a specific time of day that you will carry out a particular goal. For instance, “In two years, I want to teach my children my local dialect.” Once the goals are established, you have the option to immediately begin adjusting the timelines or to put it off until the next day.
5. Recognise that your partner’s perspective may differ from yours.
It is quite improbable that you two hold identical opinions on every matter.
There are going to be different opinions on some matters. When this occurs, attempt not to take it personally, provided that the communication is courteous. You might each have a reasonable perspective, but they aren’t the same. Make it a point to always provide helpful, healthy comments and constructive criticism to one another. No one is suggesting that you have to share your co-parent’s methods or ideologies, but as co-parents, you do have to be open to hearing each other out.
6. Pay Attention To Solutions
Choosing to see the good instead of focusing on the negative and assigning blame will benefit you far more. Persuade yourself that practically every behaviour has a valid explanation.
You may remark, “This is not about anyone being at fault,” as opposed to, “It is your fault that this or that happened.” What matters most is how we are going to handle it.
7. Be assertive rather than hostile.
Say something like, “I get that you feel strongly about this,” rather than, “If you don’t talk to me about this now, I’m doing it my way, end of topic!” I agree, but in order to resolve this, we should talk about it.
Â
8. Steer clear of lecturing.
Try to remain cool and collected and express your emotions in a friendly, nonjudgmental manner to help your spouse become less defensive.
Say something like, “When Joshua didn’t finish his food, you seemed to get very upset and angry,” rather than, “You always over-react to things,” and then go on and on about how much you enjoy or don’t approve of it. Establish the tone for a secure dialogue rather than a fight.
9. Function as a Team
Perform collaboratively. Respect and support one another’s needs, views, personalities, and endeavours.
10. Celebrate Success
There are only so many jobs in the world harder than that of raising another person(s). That said, do well to note that one bad day doesn’t mean you won’t reach your goal or that you guys are bad at parenting. You’re not perfect, no one is; so, don’t strive for perfection. Focus instead, on getting back on track when you mess up.
Ensure you and your partner celebrate the little milestones reach on your parenting goals journey. Give yourselves a pat on the back, put a gold star on the calendar, or anything else you both like to do.